Never too late to dig up conspiracy theories

New evidence, in the form of a supposed contract killer's diary, indicates that Tycho Brahe may have been poisoned with a heavy dose of mercury by a cousin in employ of the Danish king. Modern forensics can now do the magic required to prove whether this was the case. Brahe the alchemist would likely appreciate that fact and not bring down the wrath of a supernova upon those who would dare to disturb his bones. i'd love to buy the rights to this story, because you just know that if it turns out there actually was a state conspiracy to murder him, all the major studios will want to recreate it in celluloid. Long-suspected assassin Johannes Kepler could be played by Alan Rickman, the demented king by Clive Owens and in the leading role, how about Anthony Hopkins? (There just aren't that many older actors who could pull off the wooden nose, and anyway, it'd be a great part for him.)

The Prague Post (2.2.09) reports:

A Danish-led team of archaeologists and forensic experts have filed a request to exhume the remains of 16th-century Danish astronomer Tycho Brahe from an ancient vault in Prague's Týn Church... Researchers have new evidence that the astronomer was poisoned to death with mercury in 1601 on orders of King Christian IV of Denmark.

Evidently the young king suffered from severe Oedipal paranoia: he feared his father may in fact have been the astronomer rather than papa king and, if the truth came out, he would lose his throne. He had Brahe's great island observatory, Uraniborg, totally dismantled, and basically drove the great (albeit heretical) star-gazer to seek refuge in the Prague court of Emperor Rudolf II.

Schematic of Uraniborg, pulled off Der Spiegel's website.

The Danish request is now being considered by the Archdiocese of Prague. They are 'not keen on the exhumation,' though the reason for this is not made very clear. Brahe died on 24 October 1601. His bones have been sitting behind a stone slab in the Tyn for over 400 years; does the archdiocese expect to find something other than bones, and if so, what? Do they fear his ghost will escape and haunt the church as payback for their once accusing him of heresy? Naturally, the Czech antiquities department will have to weigh in as well; the tomb is made of granite and elaborately carved, truly among Prague's national treasures and definitely on par with the other cryptic sites Dan Brown has so lucratively expounded on. Cracking the stone in order to crack this conspiracy is probably not worth it. If we can live without knowing who really killed Kennedy, what was on those 18 minutes of Nixon's tapes, and whether Dick Cheney had once gone hunting with Mohammed Atta, i think we can live without knowing the truth about a bygone disfunctional family.